Tag Archives: trust God

This too shall pass…

February 19, 2014 RunAndBeStill 1 Comment

I have recently found myself pondering some very important questions. For example, is my car invisible? I have really begun to believe this may actually be truth with as many people as have pulled out in front of me, even though there are no cars behind me! This has not been a one time occurrence but instead more like a daily treat! And then as a follow up question. Why, if you are in such a hurry, that you must pull out in front of me, can you not at least do the speed limit? I have also been recently questioning if my speedometer is not set correctly as every car I am behind seems to be doing 15 miles an hour less than the speed limit. I am not a speed demon by any means, and I try to build some flex time into my travel, but not 15 extra minutes of flex time! This is white-knuckle driving, not because of bad road conditions, but because of the death grip I have on the steering wheel in frustration as the minutes tick by and I get later and later for wherever I am on my way to.

Quick, how would you describe your life right now in five words or less?

Me? I would say I am on my way. That’s how I feel like I live. I am always on my way somewhere. On my way to take the kids to school then depending on the day, I could be on my way to work, either on location or at home. Once there I try to cram as much as I can into the hours between 10 and 2 before being on my way back to pick the kids up from school. Then we are on our way to a music lesson or sports practice (or both), or possibly to feed a sports team if it’s an away game day (which often means fitting baking somewhere in between those precious “working” hours.) Then I am on my way to a sporting event, or on my way to the grocery store to pick up a random item that I need (even though I make lists, there is always something missing when I get home!) Many days I can be found at both. Then it’s on my way home to make dinner, probably do a load (or two) of laundry, help with homework (the dreaded math!) tidy up the mess we have all left in our wake throughout the day, then maybe work a little bit more if 10-2 didn’t accomplish everything on the day’s must-do list and then I am on my way to bed. A picture of a fairly typical day, where a lot of hours are spent on my way to somewhere, in my invisible car.

As the saying goes though, this too shall pass. There are plenty days when the last thing I want to do is get back and the car, and be “on my way” but there is going to come a day, in the not so distant future, when I won’t have to, so I am not complaining.

It seems like just yesterday I was tripping over toys strewn across the family room, changing diapers, and buckling kids into car seats. And now, I look at my two quickly growing children, young adults really, and I realize where we are really on our way to. I pray that as we quickly make our way towards the next chapter in our family that we can teach them enough, prepare them enough. I can’t always protect them from the world, although I try. I can’t save them from themselves some days, although I try. Some days I feel like I am literally in a tug of war match with Satan over them. We mess up, we get angry, I am far from a perfect mother, and I do not have perfect children, or a perfect family, but we try. The beautiful thing is we don’t have to be perfect. Perfection is not our standard. We just have to have a little bit of forgiveness (sometimes a little harder to come by than others) and love. Love the Lord our God, love our neighbor, love our children (and our parents), love our enemy. (That last one can be tough, I know, but this isn’t the a la carte menu. We can’t pick and choose, so love your enemy, with some help from God.)

I don’t know how you described you life (or if you even humored me when I asked you to.) I don’t know where you are in life. Today, I share my “spot in time” with you in hopes of encouragement. Know that whatever you are facing today, whatever your description was, good, bad, or filled with a little bit of crazy, I can only tell you this…it will pass. Sometimes that passing is bittersweet, but if you can keep God-centered, you won’t lose your way or your hope.

If you are having a bad day today, you are not alone. God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” (Heb 13:5) Find rest, refuge, and peace in Jesus. “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matt 11:28) “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

If you are having a good day, remember the Lord, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever.” (Psalms 107:1) “Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things He does for me.” (Psalms 103:1-2)

And if you find yourself more like me, with an invisible car, smack dab in the middle of crazy, hold on tight and use the Lord as your balance. Crazy can be wonderful if you don’t let it run you over. Remember, in the midst, God wants to be the center of our day, seek Him first, His kingdom and His righteousness (Matt 6:33) In all things (this goes for the good and bad days too) pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17.) Talk to God, share your day with Him. This is real life, and He wants to be a part of yours, no matter what it looks like.

And remember, this too shall pass…

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest… A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” (Ecc 3:1-2,4)

Encouragement

This thing is from Me.

September 12, 2013 RunAndBeStill Leave a comment

I was recently reminded of this letter which I had originally read in David Jeremiah’s book, “A Bend in the Road.” There was a portion of it that spoke to me so deeply and personally that I wanted to share it in its entirety. I hope that as you read it and process it you will begin to grasp and accept that whatever it is you are going through, God has a purpose in it and through it…

My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your soul and use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head.

THIS THING IS FROM ME

Have you ever thought of it, that all that concerns you, concerns me, too? For “anyone who harms you harms my most precious possession.” Zechariah 2:8. “You are very precious in My sight.” Isaiah 43:4. Therefore, it is My special delight to educate you. I would have you learn when temptations assail you, and the “enemy comes in like a flood” that this thing is from Me, that your weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you, who never consult your taste, who put you in the background? This thing is from Me. I am the God of circumstances. “Thou earnest not to thy place by accident, it is the very place God meant for thee.” Have you not asked to be made humble? See, then, I have placed you in the very school where this lesson is taught; your surroundings and companions are only working out My will.

Are you in money difficulties? Is it hard to make both ends meet? This thing is from Me, for I am your purse-bearer, and would have you draw from, and depend upon Me. My supplies are limitless. Philippians 4:19. 1 would have you prove My promises. Let it not be said of you, “But even after all he did, you refused to trust the Lord, your God.” Deuteronomy 1:32.

Are you passing through a night of sorrow? This thing is from Me. I am the “Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” I have let earthly comforters fail you, that by turning to Me you may obtain everlasting consolation. 11 Thessalonians 2:16-17,

Has some friend disappointed you? Was it one to whom you poured out your heart? This thing is from Me. I have allowed this disappointment to come that you may learn that: The best friend to have is Jesus, He will hear you when you call, He will keep you lest you fall. The best friend to have is Jesus. I want to be your confidant. Has someone repeated things about you that are untrue? Leave them to Me, and draw closer. unto Me, thy shelter, out of reach of “the strife of tongues.” For “He will make your incense radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shin like the noonday sun.” Psalm 37:6.

Have your plans been all upset? Are you bowed down and weary? This thing is from Me. You made your plans, then came asking Me to bless them, but I would have you let Me plan for you and then I take the responsibility, for “You’re going to wear yourself out – and the people too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself.” Exodus 18:18. You are only an instrument, not an agent.

Have you longed to do some great work for Me, and instead been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness? This thing is from Me. I could not get your attention in your busy days, and I want to teach you some of My deeper lessons. “They also serve who only stand and wait.” Some of My greatest workers are those shut out from active service, that they may learn to wield the weapon of all-prayer.

Are you suddenly called upon to occupy a difficult and responsible position? Launch out on Me – I am trusting you with the “possession of difficulties,” and “the Lord your God will bless you in everything you do.” Deuteronomy 15;10.

So, please today, hold on! God has a sovereign plan and He loves you! Nothing takes Him by surprise. Read When the Last Thing You Need is a Band-Aid Verse or Once Upon A Time for some additional encouragement today!

Encouragement

Strength Training

September 4, 2013 RunAndBeStill Leave a comment

I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.” Philip Yancey

There is something about fall, back to school, back to routines, cooler weather, and brilliant blue skies that makes me introspective and reflective. And so, as I sit in my very favorite coffee spot, with a steaming cup of coffee by my side, I am lost in days past.

Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” John 14:8

Tuesday, November 15, 2011 as I drove to pick up my kids from school I started having heart palpitations, two echocardiograms, a 24-hr halter, a stress test, two ultrasounds, six MRIs, two PET scans, numerous blood draws, and countless doctors appointments, the fear of an unknown diagnosis and then the reality of an actual diagnosis later I sit here today a different person. I still get squeamish at blood draws but at least have gotten better at remembering medication on a daily basis (our medicine cabinet looks like a pharmacy), and more importantly remembering to eat when I take it. Otherwise, I pay for it for the better part of the day with nausea. I have started running, eating better, and made taking care of myself a priority.

It is hard for me to believe that it has been almost 6 mo since my last MRI, with another looming on the horizon, and almost two years since this whole journey began. In a month I have another MRI presenting another opportunity for God to show his miraculous power through complete healing. I rest confident in the knowledge though that whatever happens, my God is in control and has a magnificent plan that continues to unfold.

Thank you to ALL for your continued support though reading my ramblings and sharing in this journey with me. Your continued dedication buoys my spirit in ways I am not sure I even grasp. I am so thankful that I am not going this alone, I can’t even imagine what that would be like.

I want to just take a moment and, if you will indulge me, share with you the greatest lesson that I have learned in all of this. The most difficult, humbling lesson for me.

The lesson is straight out of 2 Corinthians, Paul’s second letter to the people of Corinth, written after he had to sneak out of the city of Damascus. Paul says, “As I look back upon that night, when I was so discouraged, so defeated, I can see that then I started to learn the secret of effective, victorious living, I had thought my learning and my intelligent understanding of the Scriptures, my Hebrew background and all my qualifications would be the keys that would open the hearts of these Jews in Damascus to me, but I found they weren’t. I had to leave like a common criminal. There and then the Lord Jesus began to teach me the wonderful lesson that out of weakness I am made strong; that when I am weakest, he is the strongest. That I can do nothing on my own or through my own power. Out of that,” he says, “I have learned the great lesson of rejoicing and glorying in my weakness.”

For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10) Paul speaks of his experience of a “thorn in the flesh,” something I can greatly identify with. This ugly thing that kept pestering him, prodding him, aggravating him, and hurting him. He begged to have it taken away, but the word of the Lord came, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in our weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9b) Paul’s “thorn” was never removed and mine my never be either. That thorn, ensures that every day is lived fully within the grasp of His grace.

That is the secret of strength: not outward impressiveness; not great prestige, pomp and favor. Neither does strength lie in a brilliant, impressive personality, nor in ability to speak with eloquence. Strength, true strength, lies in a heart that realizes that it can do nothing apart from a complete dependence on a living Lord within. The weaker you are, the stronger Christ can be.

Isn’t that encouraging? Doesn’t that strengthen you? I know it has, and continues to strengthen me. The things that I tried to do on my own before, didn’t and never would have amounted to anything. But He can do all things through me. In and through all of this, that is the greatest lesson that I have learned.

Out of weakness comes an unbelievable strength…

Father God, I pour out my heart to you this morning. I am filled with a sense of awe at how You can take something unimaginably painful and turn it into something beautiful for Your purposes. I have seen You, Father. You have continued to show up, at every bump and every stumble. Please remind me on the days that I have trouble seeing You that it isn’t because You have left me, but instead because I haven’t slowed down enough to let you catch up. Remind me Father, that I don’t have to be everything to everyone, that there are no appearances that I have to keep up, and that plastering a fake smile on and acting like everything is ok when it isn’t rob you of an opportunity to pour your love and strength into my days. Remind me Father, that you desire a weak and broken spirit, for it is then that we are able to be used greatly for Your glory. I want so badly to be used…Amen.

Encouragement

Knock, Knock

August 31, 2013 RunAndBeStill 1 Comment

What do you do when fear comes knocking? This week I was told by my doctor that the blood supply to my brain may be insufficient at times. While this isn’t a major problem right now it could potentially become one. I won’t go into all of the medical explanations but will just say this, I thought I had covered all of the facets of fear my disease held, dealt with them, and filed them away. I was wrong, and this sent my blood pressure rocketing skyward. I am unable to control this situation. I am unable to DO anything to prevent or fix it. I have been here so many times and yet every time fear comes knocking and I answer the door I am unprepared. My brain struggles against what I know to be true. I need to just be still and rest in The Lord. It’s one thing to write about it and another thing to live it. So, I share with you, in authenticity and transparency, today. Here I struggle. Instead, I need to take my own advice from last Sunday, when I had no idea what the week would hold and I posted don’t worry about anything, pray about everything. When fear comes knocking it’s easy to let your brain run away with the “What If” game. You launch yourself ahead of God’s plans for you, you assume the worst, and you come to conclusions without ever stopping along the route to listen to what God has to say about it. I can’t imagine that I am the only one whose brain functions this way. This is my brain on default mode, hurtling into the future trying to sort out answers and solve problems, even before they exist. I have to make a concerted effort to say “STOP!” When fear comes knocking I have to ask, is this perception or reality? Is this of me or is this of God? If it’s fear, I can assure you it’s NOT of God. He doesn’t want us to live in fear. Verse after verse in the Bible Jesus tells us “do not be afraid.” But fear is a very real part of our lives. We can expect it to show up but we can’t allow it control us, not our thoughts, our actions, or how we live every day. This, at least for me, takes a concerted effort. It takes a conscious decision to let God have control of whatever is causing the fear. In this case, the very way the blood courses through my veins and arteries. And an even more concerted effort not to take that fear back after I have released it, not to obsess on it, but instead to pray over it. We are to turn our fears into our prayers. We aren’t to bottle it up, but let it out. Let it flow from us to the very throne of God. Let your fear drive you to God, not to madness. I speak those words to myself, afirm what I know to be true, and crawl towards God, worn down and worn out by the out of control spinning of my own thoughts.

Here is something, written by David Jeremiah, that I bookmarked a month after being diagnosed with Takayasu’s arteritus a year and a half ago. I refer back to it whenever I need a reminder of how to dissipate fear, how to rob it of the power it holds over us. “When fear is on your doorstep, express your faith. David said in Psalm 27:1, ‘The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?’ We know David is in trouble and fear is knocking on his door. The rest of the Psalm speaks of his enemies and trouble. Yet, here he is expressing his faith out loud and aggressively. He is saying what he knows, even though his feelings don’t match what he’s expressing. We can’t have a blind kind of simple faith that’s not objectively attached to anything and get through fear. Jesus says that as a believer in Him, you don’t go through trouble alone. In the midst of his trouble, David can say, ‘The Lord is my light and my salvation, and I know that I don’t have to be afraid.’

Can a person just stop worrying and start trusting? One day I read something that impressed me so profoundly that I haven’t worried since then. It said: ‘A man of God in the will of God is immortal until his work on earth is done.’ What that meant to me was that as long as I am a man of God doing the will of God, nothing can touch me until God is done with me. When He’s done with me, I don’t want to be around anymore.”

That is so profound to me. If I am in the will of God, going where God wants me to go, I can be sure that God knows what He is doing with me. Even in sickness and sidelining. Even when I don’t like it or understand it. God knows what He is doing and I don’t have to be afraid. And I will keep professing that until my feelings catch up with my words and embrace it as truth. Some days it takes longer than others.

A Challenge

Troubled Waters, Part B

August 4, 2013 RunAndBeStill 3 Comments

“So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus.” (Matthew 14:29)

PETER GOT OUT OF THE BOAT! Yesterday (Troubled Waters, Part A) we looked at how Jesus rescued Peter from drowning after Peter took his eyes off of Jesus during his walk across the water. But how did Peter get there in the first place. Did he fall overboard? Was he pushed? Peter choose to get out of the boat.

“PETER GOT OUT OF THE BOAT!” I can see the chaotic scene in my head, hear the disciples screaming for Peter as the storm rages around their boat. It is 3am and they are exhausted from fighting against the wind and waves for hours. Then they look out into the storm and can add terror to their list of ailments as they think they see a ghost, because who, or what, could be walking across the water towards them in the middle of the night in the middle of a storm?! It is an impossibility! Then, Peter, realizing that it is Jesus, gathers his robes around him and steps over the edge of the safety of the boat (what little it was providing at the time) and jumps right into the wind stirred waters. They had to be looking at him like he was crazy! What was he thinking?! Was he suicidal? Not in the least. Peter was going to where Jesus was, in the middle of the storm. Peter was following what Jesus had commanded him to do.

Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” Jesus said, “Come.” (Matthew 14:28-29)

The disciples had no control over the weather that night and they were fearing for their lives. In the same vain, we don’t get to choose our circumstances. No matter how hard we may try to manipulate things there will be days when we are huddled in our boats riding out the storm. When we find ourselves there we have two choices. We can choose to be like Peter, follow the Lord’s command and “come” which means stepping out of the boat right into the middle of the storm or we can take the safe route and huddle in the boat like the rest of the disciples. God wants us to choose Him. He can’t make us get out of the boat, but He is there among the thunder and lightning and driving rain bidding you to “come on in.” Jesus saved all of them that night, but in the process Peter sought out Jesus and was the only one who got to walk on the water.

Some will say that Peter failed because as he “saw the wind” he began to sink. But it was Peter’s willingness to risk failure that helped him to grow. His faith and trust in Jesus and His power and promises grew exponentially that night as Peter had an intimate, personal encounter with Jesus right in the middle of the storm. Theodore Roosevelt says “It’s not the critic who counts;” (the disciples sitting in the boat saying “Is he nuts?”) “not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.” (“Peter sank, if I would have gone out there I would have kept my eyes on Jesus and run over there to him in half the time.”) “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena…who, at best, knows in the end the triumph of great achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. So that his place will never be with those cold timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”

Ignore your critics. Making the choice to follow Jesus out where the sea is high and you lose your footing is a hard and scary choice. It goes against every fiber of your being but it’s where Jesus is and he has commanded us to “Come.” So I will go, out into the crashing waves, out into the deep to meet Jesus. If that means trying and failing, at least I have failed while trying.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
-Oceans (Where Feet May Fail,) Hillsong United

Uncategorized

Heaven stands

July 23, 2013 RunAndBeStill Leave a comment

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

I do have unanswered prayers and I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed that God would take the pain, physical and mental away. But what a comfort to know that heaven, God and a host of angels, are standing for us, behind us, beside us, as our world is shaking. And even more, to know that when it does shake and our heart is broken in the process God never let’s us go.

George MacDonald says “Trusting even when it appears you have been forsaken; praying when it seems you words are simply entering a vast expanse where no one hears and no voice answers; believing that God’s love is complete and that He is aware of your circumstances, even when your world seems to grind on as if setting its own direction and not caring for life or moving one inch in response to your petitions; desiring only what God’s hands have planned for you; waiting patiently while seemingly starving to death, with your only fear being that your faith might fail – “this is the victory that has overcome the world“; this is genuine faith indeed.”

Have you been there, feeling forsaken and unheard? Are you in the place where you faith is thin and if it fails, you know with certainty that you will crumble under the weight of all that you carry? I understand, I have been there. As I faced a future with Takayasu’s Arteritus I was afraid, and I prayed over and over that God would rescue me and He did. Maybe not in the way that I thought He would or should but He has given me more strength, more sanity, more of Him, than I ever had before I was sick and I wouldn’t trade any of that for the busy that I had before. I have come to a place where unanswered prayers begin to take on a different meaning, a place where I can begin to see the good in Romans 8:28. (Read When The Last Thing You Need…)

This is where heaven stands…