Tag Archives: strength through Christ

A series of small explosions

Aside January 5, 2014 RunAndBeStill Leave a comment

This morning while I was breezing through the kitchen I caught sight of a Christmas present. A sign hanging above the mudroom doorway that says “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” A favorite verse, a needed reminder. As I went about my business and tried to focus my twitchy, squirmy thoughts together I was reminded that “still” is so often harder than it seems when it comes to our minds. (Maybe this is just a phenomenon I suffer from.) I was breezing through the kitchen with a load of laundry to add to the piles that needed washed, while mentally creating a list of things I needed to get from the store before the next big snow storm hits (new totals up to 10 inches in the next 24 hours with wind chill values of -25.) I was also digesting the last couple of days while looking around at the Christmas stuff that needs taken down (I feel like I just got it up!) and trying to figure out the upcoming week’s schedule for back-to-school, practices, travel, work, doctor’s appointments, etc. We ended 2013 and kicked off 2014 with a bang! Actually it was more like a series of small explosions. Curve balls that life keeps throwing and I try to keep batting away, so as not to strike out. It is mentally exhausting in addition to being at times physically trying. I am not complaining (at least not much) and I keep asking, “Really? More?” God really does have a sense of humor and my prayer the last couple of days is “Lord, I really don’t need any more raw footage to write about. Some quiet would be very much appreciated.” I refuse to ask the question, “What else could go wrong?” because I really don’t want to know. Nothing that has crossed the plate over the last few weeks has been a tragedy or crisis and I am thankful for that. There have been many stories very close to home over the holidays that are tragic and my heart breaks for families and individuals who truly are suffering right now. What I am talking about is more like what I would assume Chinese water torture would be like, mentally taxing. After a flu-filled “different Christmas” (3 different strains over 10 days) I was looking forward to escaping for a night to Amish country to celebrate 15 years of being married to my husband and very best friend. (Man, I love that guy!) We were going to watch some college football (I am a huge fan!) browse the shops and eat some wonderful food that I didn’t have to cook. Then winter storm Hercules hit and canceled our plans. Not a big deal, we celebrated at home, still watched football, and enjoyed our kids enjoying the sledding hill. We also had plans to finish Christmas vacation at an indoor water park with my sisters and their families. We checked in on Friday, the kids took a quick spin on the slides and my husband took our son to basketball. Five minutes after they left I got a notification from our security company that our the alarm was going off at home. So after he dropped our son at basketball he returned home to talk with the police. False alarm apparently, no footprints in the snow, nothing amiss in the house. Then came the call from the basketball coach, our son took a charge, went knee to knee with another player and his was swollen up like a balloon. We ended up in urgent care where x-rays were done, our daughter left to play in the water park with her cousins. The x-rays showed no fracture but a small white spot was discovered on his femur, not common and very disconcerting according to the physicians assistant. She wanted us to stay and wait while the radiologist read it, hoping to hear specifically about “the spot.” The official reading came back with no mention of the spot, only the news that nothing was broken. But what about the spot? What do we do with this piece of information? Is it something? Is it nothing? I guess that’s to be continued. (This after having a scare at Thanksgiving when he had an ekg because of some symptoms that led to a report of an enlarged ventricle and a thickening of his heart muscle. The report was later discovered to be inaccurate but not after 5 days of prayerful wondering, worrying, and waiting.) Friday’s diagnosis was a severe knee sprain, crutches and a knee brace for a week (which we already had from his prior knee injury 9 months ago) and a follow up for an MRI to make sure everything else is intact. (I am not so sure it is…) Three days later I am mothering a child who is frustrated about missing out on games, practices, sledding, the inability to walk up and down the steps and bend his still swollen and very sore knee. Our daughter, and her extremely sensitive skin, came home from the water park with a mysterious face rash, and then, we’ll call it the icing on the cake, the check engine light came on in our car on the way home from our tumultuous waterpark stay. So, to recap, in a 24 hour period, police, hospitals, rashes, and finally car trouble. Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip.

Now you are up to speed as I again breeze through the kitchen arms loaded down this time with Christmas things that need to find a home, mind loaded down with family, work, and ministry concerns and to-dos, and sense of being tired instead of rejuvenated after Christmas “vacation.” Drip, drip, drip, drip.

I need to remind myself of my new years resolution already, only 5 days in. Choose Faith.

And as I sit, finally still, and bring my thoughts from my head to the page, I am reminded of a few other things that I am sure will come in handy as we charge into a new year.

There are days when we need to laugh to keep from crying. And then there are days when we’ll have to laugh as the tears roll anyway. But laugh, always laugh.

Nobody likes to be benched but sometimes we need to “ride the pine” and get healthy again. Interruptions are not part of our plan but they are part of life. Remember always that God is in control, nothing is an accident. Take a deep breath and rest during your break so when your number gets called you are ready to go back in and give it 100% again.

This is real life, not a fairytale and in that some days are going to be good some days aren’t but don’t forget to be thankful. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Some days are going to be hard but you don’t need to do it on your own, we can do all things through Christ. (Phil 4:13) There will be no words for some of the days we will have to face but you are never alone in any of it. (Isaiah 41:10) First, last, and always, prayer. In all of it, quit trying so hard because the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:14)

I leave you today with this, a very dear friend and mentor sent this to me as I was grumbling about everything that had been going on. A simple, yet effective prayer on days when the Chinese water torture seems to be getting the best of you.

Dear God, I don’t ask you to make my life easier, but I ask You to give me the strength to face every day. Amen

Still Moments

Still Moments – Scaffolding of Strength

September 19, 2013 RunAndBeStill Leave a comment

I know who goes before me. I know who stands behind. The God of Angel Armies is always by my side. (Chris Tomlin, Whom Shall I Fear)

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Let me assure you of one thing today. God is with you, not just within shouting distance, not a phone call away, but with you, right beside you, within you, carrying you. Isaiah 43:2 says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

When, not if, you face trouble, the promise is God will be with you. He will be your foundation, your protector, your scaffolding of strength. Be still and rest in His strength today.

Encouragement

Strength Training

September 4, 2013 RunAndBeStill Leave a comment

I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.” Philip Yancey

There is something about fall, back to school, back to routines, cooler weather, and brilliant blue skies that makes me introspective and reflective. And so, as I sit in my very favorite coffee spot, with a steaming cup of coffee by my side, I am lost in days past.

Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” John 14:8

Tuesday, November 15, 2011 as I drove to pick up my kids from school I started having heart palpitations, two echocardiograms, a 24-hr halter, a stress test, two ultrasounds, six MRIs, two PET scans, numerous blood draws, and countless doctors appointments, the fear of an unknown diagnosis and then the reality of an actual diagnosis later I sit here today a different person. I still get squeamish at blood draws but at least have gotten better at remembering medication on a daily basis (our medicine cabinet looks like a pharmacy), and more importantly remembering to eat when I take it. Otherwise, I pay for it for the better part of the day with nausea. I have started running, eating better, and made taking care of myself a priority.

It is hard for me to believe that it has been almost 6 mo since my last MRI, with another looming on the horizon, and almost two years since this whole journey began. In a month I have another MRI presenting another opportunity for God to show his miraculous power through complete healing. I rest confident in the knowledge though that whatever happens, my God is in control and has a magnificent plan that continues to unfold.

Thank you to ALL for your continued support though reading my ramblings and sharing in this journey with me. Your continued dedication buoys my spirit in ways I am not sure I even grasp. I am so thankful that I am not going this alone, I can’t even imagine what that would be like.

I want to just take a moment and, if you will indulge me, share with you the greatest lesson that I have learned in all of this. The most difficult, humbling lesson for me.

The lesson is straight out of 2 Corinthians, Paul’s second letter to the people of Corinth, written after he had to sneak out of the city of Damascus. Paul says, “As I look back upon that night, when I was so discouraged, so defeated, I can see that then I started to learn the secret of effective, victorious living, I had thought my learning and my intelligent understanding of the Scriptures, my Hebrew background and all my qualifications would be the keys that would open the hearts of these Jews in Damascus to me, but I found they weren’t. I had to leave like a common criminal. There and then the Lord Jesus began to teach me the wonderful lesson that out of weakness I am made strong; that when I am weakest, he is the strongest. That I can do nothing on my own or through my own power. Out of that,” he says, “I have learned the great lesson of rejoicing and glorying in my weakness.”

For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10) Paul speaks of his experience of a “thorn in the flesh,” something I can greatly identify with. This ugly thing that kept pestering him, prodding him, aggravating him, and hurting him. He begged to have it taken away, but the word of the Lord came, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in our weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9b) Paul’s “thorn” was never removed and mine my never be either. That thorn, ensures that every day is lived fully within the grasp of His grace.

That is the secret of strength: not outward impressiveness; not great prestige, pomp and favor. Neither does strength lie in a brilliant, impressive personality, nor in ability to speak with eloquence. Strength, true strength, lies in a heart that realizes that it can do nothing apart from a complete dependence on a living Lord within. The weaker you are, the stronger Christ can be.

Isn’t that encouraging? Doesn’t that strengthen you? I know it has, and continues to strengthen me. The things that I tried to do on my own before, didn’t and never would have amounted to anything. But He can do all things through me. In and through all of this, that is the greatest lesson that I have learned.

Out of weakness comes an unbelievable strength…

Father God, I pour out my heart to you this morning. I am filled with a sense of awe at how You can take something unimaginably painful and turn it into something beautiful for Your purposes. I have seen You, Father. You have continued to show up, at every bump and every stumble. Please remind me on the days that I have trouble seeing You that it isn’t because You have left me, but instead because I haven’t slowed down enough to let you catch up. Remind me Father, that I don’t have to be everything to everyone, that there are no appearances that I have to keep up, and that plastering a fake smile on and acting like everything is ok when it isn’t rob you of an opportunity to pour your love and strength into my days. Remind me Father, that you desire a weak and broken spirit, for it is then that we are able to be used greatly for Your glory. I want so badly to be used…Amen.