Don’t let Satan rob you of joy today. Offload whatever you are struggling with today to God, and watch Him work salvation and deliverance in your life. It doesn’t matter what you are faced with or what it has taken for you to get here. God can turn your mess into a masterpiece if you will allow Him to. Cease striving…be still…know God. Psalm 46:10
Tag Archives: god
Still Moments – One Cheeking It
We have watched this in church before and they showed it again today. It never fails to convict me as I often find myself trying to take back the “decision seat.” Today, I challenge you to be still and examine your own life. Are you one cheeking it with God?
Once upon a time there was a fair maiden…
Let me share with you a love story. A tale where my Savior has poured out His very lifeblood for me in love. I have spent some of my life running from that love. Other days I have taken it for granted. More recently, I have been soaking it in, relishing it, and relying on it.
This love story starts out simply enough, I was given the benefit of a strong Christian upbringing, a sturdy foundation upon which to build the days of my life. At that time, it was something I had to do. Church was something I did out of obligation, because Mom and Dad said so. Those days were spent chasing things I wanted, the things that made me happy. I pushed my own agenda. I made a plan, called it God’s and forged ahead. Then the unthinkable happened, on a beautiful October day, we buried our still-born son. The life I was forging ahead with was decimated. I was in agony and left with unanswerable questions. I didn’t know what else to do but cling to Jesus. My foundational training had kicked in . Everyone said I was so strong but that is a lie! I was weak. I was destroyed. But no one saw that, all they saw was God’s love because I was hiding in it, relying on it to get me through. In those dark days, God provided comfort and hope and He healed my heart but not because I was strong. It was because I was weak. I had gotten a first-hand glimpse of what God’s love can do, how it can change a person.
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to years, and I moved forward. I was able to move beyond the death of our son, although it was still painful, and I was slipping back to doing things on my own again. This time I was a little more dependent on God, especially when I needed something, or to say thanks when something good came about. I really thought I had this all figured out. We were in church (almost) every Sunday, we were raising our children in a home with morals and values. We were trying to put God was at the center of our lives but we didn’t really understand the depth that it requires, what that truly means. And then, once again, WHAM! Natalie Grant sings a song, “Our Hope Endures,” that says this. “You would think only so much can only go wrong, calamity only strikes once. And you would assume that this one has suffered her share. So life will be kinder from here.” Well you know what they say about assumptions, and God doesn’t promise an easy road. Disease reared its ugly head when I was diagnosed with the rare auto-immune disease, Takayasu’s arteritus. Bathed in silent symptoms and a lack of medical research and answers, this disease continues to affect me on a daily basis to an extent I am not sure I am even aware of. I was gripped tightly in the hand of fear. But through sickness I have been forced to quit wiggling and squirming and doing things on my own. I have been forced to be still and examine what a true love story with the Lord is supposed to look like. This is more than surface deep! My independent tendencies have been tempered back and I find myself sharing daily life with Him because I want to. Not because I need something, or want something, but because I love Him and that is what love does. God went from being a figurehead to a friend. I won’t tell you I don’t still struggle because that would be a lie. But I will tell you that no matter how many times I have turned from God, no matter how many times I have tried to do life on my own and failed, He has always been there waiting for me with forgiveness and unfathomable, unconditional love. Stop for a moment today, and think about your love story. Maybe it’s only just a story right now and you need God to pour His love into it. He will, you know. It doesn’t matter how ugly the beginning is, He loves you just the same. I am here to tell you that some of the ugliest stories can become beautiful when you give God the opportunity to pour His love into them. It is only through the grace and love of God that I write to you today, not bitter and angry about the hand life has dealt, but thankful that through all of it I have been drawn closer to a God who wants nothing more than to be my happily ever after.
Today, if you want to turn your story into a love story ask God for His help. He doesn’t expect perfection, that is why he offers forgiveness. He sent His son to remove the unachievable obstacle of perfection for us. My son died. I know the agony in that. But here is our God, who in sending His Son to our world, sentenced Him to die for people who aren’t perfect. People who are flawed, and broken, and continually turn away from His love. But He did it all the same. I can’t imagine the pain in that, but He did it out of love, love for you and for me. Is there any greater love?
Father God, thank you for loving me. Thank you for being there with forgiveness when I don’t deserve it. Thank you for having limitless patience for me as I try to figure this life out. And thank you for sending Your Son to die in my place. I am not worthy of that gift but I accept it all the same. You did it to spend eternity with me, not because of anything I have done, but simply because you love me. Soften my heart to accept that love and recognize, on the days that I try to do this on my own, that I need you. With you there is a promise of happily ever after…Amen
Strength Training
I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.” Philip Yancey
There is something about fall, back to school, back to routines, cooler weather, and brilliant blue skies that makes me introspective and reflective. And so, as I sit in my very favorite coffee spot, with a steaming cup of coffee by my side, I am lost in days past.
Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” John 14:8
Tuesday, November 15, 2011 as I drove to pick up my kids from school I started having heart palpitations, two echocardiograms, a 24-hr halter, a stress test, two ultrasounds, six MRIs, two PET scans, numerous blood draws, and countless doctors appointments, the fear of an unknown diagnosis and then the reality of an actual diagnosis later I sit here today a different person. I still get squeamish at blood draws but at least have gotten better at remembering medication on a daily basis (our medicine cabinet looks like a pharmacy), and more importantly remembering to eat when I take it. Otherwise, I pay for it for the better part of the day with nausea. I have started running, eating better, and made taking care of myself a priority.
It is hard for me to believe that it has been almost 6 mo since my last MRI, with another looming on the horizon, and almost two years since this whole journey began. In a month I have another MRI presenting another opportunity for God to show his miraculous power through complete healing. I rest confident in the knowledge though that whatever happens, my God is in control and has a magnificent plan that continues to unfold.
Thank you to ALL for your continued support though reading my ramblings and sharing in this journey with me. Your continued dedication buoys my spirit in ways I am not sure I even grasp. I am so thankful that I am not going this alone, I can’t even imagine what that would be like.
I want to just take a moment and, if you will indulge me, share with you the greatest lesson that I have learned in all of this. The most difficult, humbling lesson for me.
The lesson is straight out of 2 Corinthians, Paul’s second letter to the people of Corinth, written after he had to sneak out of the city of Damascus. Paul says, “As I look back upon that night, when I was so discouraged, so defeated, I can see that then I started to learn the secret of effective, victorious living, I had thought my learning and my intelligent understanding of the Scriptures, my Hebrew background and all my qualifications would be the keys that would open the hearts of these Jews in Damascus to me, but I found they weren’t. I had to leave like a common criminal. There and then the Lord Jesus began to teach me the wonderful lesson that out of weakness I am made strong; that when I am weakest, he is the strongest. That I can do nothing on my own or through my own power. Out of that,” he says, “I have learned the great lesson of rejoicing and glorying in my weakness.”
For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10) Paul speaks of his experience of a “thorn in the flesh,” something I can greatly identify with. This ugly thing that kept pestering him, prodding him, aggravating him, and hurting him. He begged to have it taken away, but the word of the Lord came, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in our weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9b) Paul’s “thorn” was never removed and mine my never be either. That thorn, ensures that every day is lived fully within the grasp of His grace.
That is the secret of strength: not outward impressiveness; not great prestige, pomp and favor. Neither does strength lie in a brilliant, impressive personality, nor in ability to speak with eloquence. Strength, true strength, lies in a heart that realizes that it can do nothing apart from a complete dependence on a living Lord within. The weaker you are, the stronger Christ can be.
Isn’t that encouraging? Doesn’t that strengthen you? I know it has, and continues to strengthen me. The things that I tried to do on my own before, didn’t and never would have amounted to anything. But He can do all things through me. In and through all of this, that is the greatest lesson that I have learned.
Out of weakness comes an unbelievable strength…
Father God, I pour out my heart to you this morning. I am filled with a sense of awe at how You can take something unimaginably painful and turn it into something beautiful for Your purposes. I have seen You, Father. You have continued to show up, at every bump and every stumble. Please remind me on the days that I have trouble seeing You that it isn’t because You have left me, but instead because I haven’t slowed down enough to let you catch up. Remind me Father, that I don’t have to be everything to everyone, that there are no appearances that I have to keep up, and that plastering a fake smile on and acting like everything is ok when it isn’t rob you of an opportunity to pour your love and strength into my days. Remind me Father, that you desire a weak and broken spirit, for it is then that we are able to be used greatly for Your glory. I want so badly to be used…Amen.
Sneak Peek
I am so excited to share this sneak peak ten years in the making! In May I was approached by WestBow Press, a Christian publishing company who was interested in publishing a manuscript that I had started ten years ago and only recently finished. As God has orchestrated and written my life’s story over the last decade, I have tried my best to capture the lessons I have learned in an effort to bring Him the glory. I cannot even begin to express the sense of wonder I have at seeing this project through to completion. Even bigger than the sense of wonderment though is the sense of God’s hand in this whole process. His BIG answers have absolutely humbled my heart. So without further ado, I present to you my first book, Run and Be Still. (It actually was named “Through the Valley” until I came to my senses mid-July and realized through a series of events that it needed to follow the blog’s title, Run and Be Still.) I really have no words…
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. (Ephesians 3:20 NLT)
AVAILABLE OCTOBER 2013
Knock, Knock
What do you do when fear comes knocking? This week I was told by my doctor that the blood supply to my brain may be insufficient at times. While this isn’t a major problem right now it could potentially become one. I won’t go into all of the medical explanations but will just say this, I thought I had covered all of the facets of fear my disease held, dealt with them, and filed them away. I was wrong, and this sent my blood pressure rocketing skyward. I am unable to control this situation. I am unable to DO anything to prevent or fix it. I have been here so many times and yet every time fear comes knocking and I answer the door I am unprepared. My brain struggles against what I know to be true. I need to just be still and rest in The Lord. It’s one thing to write about it and another thing to live it. So, I share with you, in authenticity and transparency, today. Here I struggle. Instead, I need to take my own advice from last Sunday, when I had no idea what the week would hold and I posted don’t worry about anything, pray about everything. When fear comes knocking it’s easy to let your brain run away with the “What If” game. You launch yourself ahead of God’s plans for you, you assume the worst, and you come to conclusions without ever stopping along the route to listen to what God has to say about it. I can’t imagine that I am the only one whose brain functions this way. This is my brain on default mode, hurtling into the future trying to sort out answers and solve problems, even before they exist. I have to make a concerted effort to say “STOP!” When fear comes knocking I have to ask, is this perception or reality? Is this of me or is this of God? If it’s fear, I can assure you it’s NOT of God. He doesn’t want us to live in fear. Verse after verse in the Bible Jesus tells us “do not be afraid.” But fear is a very real part of our lives. We can expect it to show up but we can’t allow it control us, not our thoughts, our actions, or how we live every day. This, at least for me, takes a concerted effort. It takes a conscious decision to let God have control of whatever is causing the fear. In this case, the very way the blood courses through my veins and arteries. And an even more concerted effort not to take that fear back after I have released it, not to obsess on it, but instead to pray over it. We are to turn our fears into our prayers. We aren’t to bottle it up, but let it out. Let it flow from us to the very throne of God. Let your fear drive you to God, not to madness. I speak those words to myself, afirm what I know to be true, and crawl towards God, worn down and worn out by the out of control spinning of my own thoughts.
Here is something, written by David Jeremiah, that I bookmarked a month after being diagnosed with Takayasu’s arteritus a year and a half ago. I refer back to it whenever I need a reminder of how to dissipate fear, how to rob it of the power it holds over us. “When fear is on your doorstep, express your faith. David said in Psalm 27:1, ‘The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?’ We know David is in trouble and fear is knocking on his door. The rest of the Psalm speaks of his enemies and trouble. Yet, here he is expressing his faith out loud and aggressively. He is saying what he knows, even though his feelings don’t match what he’s expressing. We can’t have a blind kind of simple faith that’s not objectively attached to anything and get through fear. Jesus says that as a believer in Him, you don’t go through trouble alone. In the midst of his trouble, David can say, ‘The Lord is my light and my salvation, and I know that I don’t have to be afraid.’
Can a person just stop worrying and start trusting? One day I read something that impressed me so profoundly that I haven’t worried since then. It said: ‘A man of God in the will of God is immortal until his work on earth is done.’ What that meant to me was that as long as I am a man of God doing the will of God, nothing can touch me until God is done with me. When He’s done with me, I don’t want to be around anymore.”
That is so profound to me. If I am in the will of God, going where God wants me to go, I can be sure that God knows what He is doing with me. Even in sickness and sidelining. Even when I don’t like it or understand it. God knows what He is doing and I don’t have to be afraid. And I will keep professing that until my feelings catch up with my words and embrace it as truth. Some days it takes longer than others.
Still Moments – Do Less, Accomplish More
I needed this reminder today! I can’t be the only one, so I will share it!
Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things? (Luke 12:22-26 NLT)
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12 NLT)
Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. (Proverbs 16:3 NLT)
Kneeling on the Battleground
You are faithful, God You are faithful. I have had this bit of song stuck in my head since I got up this morning. It is from the chorus of “Never Once” by Matt Redman. Our God is so, so faithful and this song paints that in a beautiful way.
Kneeling on this battleground
Seeing just how much you’ve done
Knowing every victory is your power in us
Picture this for me if you would. A soldier, kneeling in the middle of a battlefield. There are casualties around him and the battle rages. Yet, he kneels. It makes no sense. He doesn’t fight, he doesn’t flinch. He simply kneels.
That is exactly the way we are called to do battle, on our knees before the throne of God.
This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. (2 Chronicles 20:15)
The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm. (Exodus 14:14)
Prayer is not just for the little old ladies of the church. (Although if you could see them the way the angels do they may look more like a spiritual linebacker than the head of the quilting bee.) The term prayer warrior was coined for a reason. Prayer is powerful! God is, through your prayers, providing you with His power. This is the power that through prayer has parted the sea, tumbled the walls of Jericho, shut the lions mouths, silenced the storm, made the blind to see, made the lame to walk, and raised the dead! Think about that for just a moment. When we pray we are engaging God in our battle. Do you want your battling to be in vain? As long as we stay on our knees God will be battling right alongside of us, providing unlimited access to the power that He is longing to provide.
Look at the above verses again. The battle is not yours! The Lord himself will fight for you! If God is for you, who can be against you? How do you get that kind of power? That assurance? Humble yourself before The Lord in prayer.
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say, yes our hearts can say
Never once, did we ever walk alone
Never once, did you leave us on our own
You are faithful, God you are faithful
There it is, faithful even through scars and struggles. Faithful to answer. Faithful to those who seek Him in obedience. Faithful to be forever by our side. God doesn’t promise an easy path. What he does promise is to never leave us to do the battling alone.
You have armed me with strength for the battle; you have subdued my enemies under my feet. (Psalm 18:39)
So many Christians want to live victoriously without having to go through the battle. My question in response is if you aren’t battling what are you claiming victory over?
Are you ready to see what miracle God may have in store for you? Are you prepared to see what He could do through you if you humble yourself before Him? Maybe it’s time to stop battling and start kneeling.
Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight for the true faith. (1 Timothy 6:11, 12 NLT)
Fight the good fight…
Back To School
Today is a bittersweet day. It is our back to school day. The time with our children is fleeting and I was so touched by this video (I sat with tears rolling as I watched it) that I had to share it. This is my heart. This is my story. This is for all the moms, dads, grandparents, anyone who has uttered some form of these words offered up in the video.
“I want more first days, a lot more. I know they are mine for just a moment but they are yours, God, for eternity. Keep them safe God and if you would just fill in the gaps with the things I forgot to say because I was too busy or too distracted. That would be great. That would be really, really, great.”
Happy first day…
Still Moments
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6, 7 NLT)
So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (Matthew 6:34 NLT)
One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. (Luke 18:1 NLT)
Never stop praying. (1 Thessalonians 5:17 NLT)
Run and Be Still 