Encouragement

Weeds In My Flowerbeds

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Why is it that as soon as I am a paragraph or so into sharing life with you my computer decides to shut down and “configure new updates” without so much as a warning? That pretty much sums up the way things have been going lately. Hmmmm…anyway back to where I was before this crazy machine interrupted me…

Happy Summer! Hard to believe it’s halfway over (at least in our house.) That depresses me because I feel like we’ve only just begun. June was a total write off for us. Our calendar was packed! Every single day had something planned or scheduled. Many days (which begin at 6 am) had multiple commitments. I am not complaining because we have also had our share of fun! Our family motto this summer has become “Embrace the Crazy!” This is why it’s been 3 weeks since I have been here, clicking away at the keyboard. (This is also why, dear neighbors, my flowerbeds that were once well tended and cared for have become littered with weeds popping up between the blooms. I will get right on that as soon as I am done here…)

I have this incredible, romanticized idea of what summer is supposed to look like. My “Country-Time Lemonade summer.” It’s all early-morning coffee on the back porch and lazy picnic basket afternoons at the lake or the pool. A tire swing hung from a massive tree for playing. Evenings spent around the campfire roasting marshmallows and making s’mores. The house always full, a revolving door of kids and friends. Ahh, summer.

It’s a nice picture but it’s not real life. Last night we made a fire and it rained. (Weather forecaster fail.) This morning the mosquitos about drove us off the back porch to drink our coffee indoors before launching into the day. We have managed the pool and beach a few times and there always seems to be a house and car full of kids which I absolutely love but our days are anything but lazy. This hectic, frenzied pace is what summer looks like this year and I am learning to adapt. (It’s either that or have it run me over.)

Right now, I want to strip the heavy coat of seriousness that I sometimes feel like I have boxed myself into, especially here, and share the lighter side of life for awhile. The “serious me” has mush for brain right now anyway and would struggle to put together a deeply thought out serious post because quite frankly friends (we’re all friends here, right?) it’s also been a tough three weeks. We have had to deal head on with some scary things that have been beyond the scope of my experience as a mother and caused me to stretch my faith in a major way. (But I am not going there today, like I said, mushy brain couldn’t muddle through that. It’s kind of like when you are waiting for something to load on your phone or computer and the little circle icon is spinning and spinning and you begin to wonder if it’s even doing anything or if it’s frozen up so you hit the refresh button and it starts all over again from the beginning and you lost any progress you had made. Maybe that’s just me and my impatience. At any rate, I digress…)

I used to have it all together (or at least it felt that way) but somewhere along the way this summer I became one of “those” people. You know, the kind that drops their kid off at piano lessons a half hour early because they were sure that was the right time? I am not saying that that happened yesterday or anything. (But if it had, in defense of “that” person, summer lessons had a new time and it had been three weeks since the last lesson and come on, that earlier time would be so much more convenient.) Embrace The Crazy!

This is summer in all of its chaotic glory. Not without problems but taken with a good dose of laughter. This is me…taxi driver, therapist, lifeguard, failed schedule-manager…a mom who looks at her growing kids and wonders where time has gone. (Our first year of high school and last year of elementary are on the horizon in just a few short weeks!)  A mom who looks at her kids and sees such amazing young people who are teaching me so much.

I really wish I had some great words of wisdom for you, something wise and thought-provoking and uber spiritual. But all I can offer today in the way of spirit-nourishment is “Embrace The Crazy!” It’s my summer version of eat dessert first. Go out and make some memories, laugh and have some fun. The weeds in your flowerbed can wait until tomorrow.  (Unfortunately mine have had too many tomorrows so I must go tackle that project…)

Encouragement

I Am A Cry-Baby (Not Really. Ok, Maybe I Am)

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Confession:  I hate crying. Maybe, more correctly I should say, I hate other people seeing me cry. This wouldn’t be as much of a problem if the waterworks weren’t activated by something as simple as a sappy commercial for cotton on tv!

I didn’t used to be this way but at some point along this adventure I became an excessively sentimental, emotional (alright, I will just say it) wreck.  Not everyday, but I have my moments.

Me: Watching a YouTube video that has tripped the tear trigger, one of my family members walks in and I am furiously wiping at my face.  Nothing to see here, keep moving, mom is totally fine…

Me:  Worshiping in church and so overcome that my eyes are welling up.  Are you kidding me?!  Get a grip woman, not here, not now…

Me:  Speaking to a group of women at the end of May, the one thing I asked my husband to pray for as I walked out the door that morning was  – no tears! Pray that I can get through this without crying.  (Now, truth be told part of what I was sharing was an extremely moving reading about the burden of the blessing that motherhood is and I had about 99% of the women there in tears.)  By the way – I failed…I was “misting” before I ever got up to speak as a group of young ladies got up to sing a song about moms.  (Taylor Swift’s, The Best Day – I dare you to try to get through it without tears!)

So why does this trait, as I see it in myself, bother me so much?  That is like opening Pandora’s box.  I don’t think anything less of others who cry in public. (Even in the public of your own living room.) Most likely if I see you crying I will be fighting joining in.  If I were to make an educated guess I would say this has something to do with control.  It doesn’t take a huge leap of faith arrive at this conclusion when the starting point is control-freak.  Alright, I think that is enough couch time for today.  The point I wanted to make in this is something that I struggle with and I really need you to hear…

It’s ok not to be ok.

Joyce Meyer said, “We desperately want people to believe we are okay…to think we’ve got it together.  But it’s okay to not be okay.”

Everybody loves a story of someone who has overcome obstacles, trials, tragedy.  But too often we hit the highlights, skip the dark spots because nobody wants to tell that story.  We often hear stories like this one…Once upon a time something bad happened but our hero wasn’t fazed.  Our superhero, with their cape flapping in the wind, squashed the enemy without any problem and they lived happily ever after without suffering any sleepless nights or ever having shed a tear.

Not me, I want an authentic story.  I want to know that someone else struggles with the same things that I do.  Or if not the same things, at least I want to know that you struggle too.  But we are all so good at pretending!  We have been spoon fed the line that if we are true followers of Christ, and we struggle, we cannot actually admit it.  (Gasp!)  Please don’t buy into this!

Matt Chandler, pastor at The Village Church, recently said this.

…an issue that continues to persist among us who confess Christ as Lord are seasons in which we walk in the desert, seasons in which we struggle with doubt, seasons in which we are barely hanging in there. If we are not careful, we will pretend that’s not where we are and, instead, play the part of “Here’s where I raise my hands, and here’s where I take notes…”

In essence, we begin to pretend we’re not where we are. Hear me: that’s dumb. Why? Your conversation with other believers, your conversations in your groups, your conversations with those who are in your life pursuing Jesus Christ with you should be right around this subject: “It’s dry. I’m tired. I’m struggling with doubt. I don’t get this. I’m losing faith.” Why would you pretend that’s not where you are? I love you, but that’s idiotic.

So we confess, “I’m in the desert, and I don’t know how much longer I can survive out here,” and the people of God encourage and pray and they check in and they walk alongside. This is a practice we never get out of.

Also, I don’t know that you’ll ever outgrow seasons of being in the desert.  God accomplishes profound things in the dry times. What we must learn to exercise week in and week out, month in and month out, year in and year out, whether obedience feels like breathing air or obedience feels like a full-out assault on our hopes and dreams, is an openness and authenticity to say, “I’m in trouble. I’m jammed up. I’m frustrated. I’m angry. I’m lonely. I’ve been reading my Bible. I can’t remember the last time the Lord spoke to me through his Word. I’m praying. I don’t feel like anybody is listening to me but the cat,and I need to repent for owning a cat.” (I personally apologize to any cat owners…)
If the Lord has put you in that season, you will be in that season as long as he wants you in the season. My own experience is there have been multiple times I’ve walked through that season where I’m like, “Okay, I get it,” and the Lord has gone, ‘You ain’t got half of it yet, brother.’  We need to learn to trust the Lord in that while simultaneously being honest that that’s where we are.  God hasn’t asked you to be Superman or Wonder Woman.

So, it’s ok not to be ok.  It’s not okay to stay there.  If you are struggling, be honest, tell someone.

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do so we think that you’re good
And you can’t believe it’s not enough
All the walls you built up are just glass on the outside

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark,

(Tenth Avenue North, Healing Begins)

It’s ok…If you’re all busted up, welcome to the family. Oh, you’re dysfunctional? Us too! Come on in. You’re one of the crowd.

 

Encouragement

Afraid Of The Quiet

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If we really want to pray, we must first learn to listen: for in the silence of the heart, God speaks. And to be able to see that silence, to be able to hear God, we need a clean heart. Let us listen to God, to what He has to say. We cannot speak unless we have listened, unless we have made our connection with God. From the fullness of the heart, the mouth will speak, the mind will think. ~Mother Teresa

“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the LORD told him. And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. (1 Kings 19:11, 12 NLT)

Silence can be a frightening thing. What might we hear or learn about ourselves in the silence? One of the things we do in talking is adjust our appearance, to others and in our own minds. We justify and rationalize our thoughts and actions. Even, and especially, towards God. We can so easily talk, talk, talk, at Him without actually listening to Him. We hand Him our grocery list prayer requests, hopefully remember to say thank you, and then it’s a goodbye, talk soon, without giving God the chance to speak to our hearts and into our lives. To abandon that white noise is really major, so we just keep on jabbering out loud or in our mind’s self talk. In silence we surrender our control of where the conversation might go and what we may be forced to face.

I find so much truth in Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s words. “Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking when they should be listening. But he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God, either; he will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God, too. This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life.”

God is not in the noise of your life…I challenge you today to quiet your heart so that you may hear His whisper. It may be frightening and I can’t guarantee it will be painless but this whisper also brings with it hope and love and peace and rest. Today be still…cease striving. Do not be afraid in the silence, for in your quiet you will find God.

Guest Blogger

Sometimes…

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Written by a woman I admire for so many reasons, Kim Payne. I read this yesterday on her blog Growing Paynes and asked if I could share it here because I think we all feel like this…sometimes.

Sometimes I feel so… Me.

Like there are times when I can’t just sail by on who my husband is in love with… Or who my friends make me into… Or the mother of my four wonderful minions… Or the prayer warrior… Or the concerned sister… Or the beloved daughter…

Sometimes I’m just me.

And sometimes I stink.

And I feel like singing at the top of my lungs… But I just can’t seem to find the right song. It’s like being stuck inside a classroom wasting time watching a beautiful day slip by… I can’t determine if I’m overly lonely or building up a wall of defenses as quickly as possible…

The Word is alive, and sweet, and inspiring… The sun is shining… Friends are available… Prayers are being answered… Yet I feel like we broke up and are trying to figure out if we can still be friends or if you just know too much about me.

There are sometimes just too many layers of this ugly pride… And having them stripped away stinks. Literally. Another reason to not let anyone close… Another childhood mocking coming true… Another screaming voice challenging the Truth I committed to sow deep in these recesses…

But You always show up.

Even when it’s incredibly vital that You do. Even though it wasn’t when I thought I needed it the very most. Even though You were always present. You show up.

You speak when my prayers cease being lists I say with my eyes closed. You answer when I actually ask You the questions. Your Word is alive, active, sharp, useful… True. And you speak through it and to my heart.

You give me dreams. You bring me healing… Even when I don’t realize how sick I am. You never stop calling me “precious”, “loved”, “desired”, “Yours”… Regardless of how often I doubt it… How incredible your Faithfulness which does not waiver at my faithlessness.

It’s in the wake of feeling so “me” that I grow in amazement of how impactfully “You” You always are…

“But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you…” (Isaiah 43:1-5)

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Still Moments – Does Your Life Make Sense?

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“Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.”
Francis Chan, Crazy Love

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Rom 12:2 (NLT)

Here’s to living a life that makes people wonder what makes you different…hopefully it’s because you are walking in God’s will but maybe it’s because you are a little crazy…some days I am not sure I know the difference.

Make today a wonderful, crazy day! Inspire someone!

May 2014

Happy Birthday Run And Be Still!

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Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin (Zechariah 4:10 NLT)

One year ago this past week I stepped out into the unknown, I stopped thinking “I should” and began writing on what has become Run And Be Still. I didn’t know what I was going to say or for how long I could keep it up. And even then I was afraid that no one would listen anyway. But what a year it has been!

I find it amazing how much can be accomplished and changed within the scope of 365 short days. (Although some don’t feel so short at the time.) The small steps that we take every day will eventually add up into something bigger. One year ago, just after the start of Run And Be Still, my book (then titled Through the Valley) was picked up by a publisher. A dream that I thought had been put on hold indefinitely was rekindled and as I look back over the past year I can see God working in ways that’s aren’t always visible when I am “in the moment.” There have been many days when I have found myself frustrated and impatient, wanting desperately to see results, wanting to see a difference being made not tomorrow but now! But everyday each one of those steps taken in obedience, sometimes painful, tired, and monotonous, added up into something bigger and to look back and see it and see things I have dreamed about begin to take shape and know that this is just the beginning gives me a rush of excitement, and accomplishment that is unparalleled! And it’s also incredibly humbling.

I also thought of Matthew 17:20, “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Oh to have the faith to suspend all that we know and understand as reality and embrace the impossible.

On days like today as I look back I have realized we don’t always see the mountains moving in front of us, sometimes it’s a slow process and it’s only as we look in the rearview mirror that we are able to appreciate how far they have moved and how far we have come. I find myself continually amazed at God’s goodness and provision, in sickness, fear, and grief for certain, but also on the good days. He is right in our midst, everyday, if we open our eyes and ears, and soften our hearts to His presence.

How much more could God do with us if by His grace He can move mountains with mustard seed faith and He causes great oak trees to spring forth from tiny acorns? This next year, I pledge to stop wondering “What if?” (And all the other questions I ask myself like “Is anyone listening?” “Does anyone care?” “Am I making a difference?”) and induce my faith, let God take the reins, and continue listening, sharing, and putting one foot in front of the other even when I am weary and it doesn’t make sense. Then I can rest confident in that fact that if I reach one or one hundred thousand it has been exactly God’s plan. I love what Mother Theresa says, “God has not called me to be successful. He called me to be faithful.”

Would you consider helping by praying with me and sharing Run and Be Still? Together we can all make a difference in spreading the hope and love of Jesus.

Here’s to next year and praying for big things but content in whatever God provides.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. (Ephesians 3:20, emphasis mine)

Into Every Life

Into Every Life – A Transformation

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We have spent the last month going through an exercise in uncovering disguised blessings and looking at some of the things that can trip us up on our way. We have worked at redefining our idea of good and shifted our thinking about the thorns in our lives. Today, to wrap this all up I want to really dig into the following passage and with the help of Matt Chandler’s and his Blessings and Woes message from February 2008, pull this apart.

Then Jesus turned to his disciples and said, “God blesses you who are poor, for the Kingdom of God is yours. God blesses you who are hungry now, for you will be satisfied. God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh. What blessings await you when people hate you and exclude you and mock you and curse you as evil because you follow the Son of Man. When that happens, be happy! Yes, leap for joy! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, their ancestors treated the ancient prophets that same way. “What sorrow awaits you who are rich, for you have your only happiness now. What sorrow waits you who are fat and prosperous now, for a time of awful hunger awaits you. What sorrow awaits you who laugh now, for your laughing will turn to mourning and sorrow. What sorrow awaits you who are praised by the crowds, for their ancestors also praised false prophets. (Luke 6:20-26)

When did those four things become blessing? And then on the tail end, when did wealth, a full stomach, joy and being loved become what we should ascribe to? In every great success story, the key component in every book, everyone who was ever on Oprah is that they moved from here—poverty, rejection, hunger, despair—and they moved to wealth. Isn’t it? Isn’t every great success story marked by someone who moved from here to here? It moves in this direction. But Jesus shows up and goes, “No, no, no. It moves the other way.” But no one has ever made a success story built on, “He was born a billionaire…died decrepit and alone. Selah.” That is not how it works. It moves from poverty, rejection, hungry, sorrow, this way to joy, wealth. But Jesus is going, “Oh no, no, no. It better head the other way.”

So why? Why does it have to head the other direction? According to conventional wisdom this makes absolutely no sense! But this is what I have come to think of as “the burden of a blessing.” This is the refining and testing of our faith. Blessed, truly, deeply blessed, through and amidst grief and fear. Because when we are faced with tragedy, trials and struggling, and realize that we have nothing, that we are nothing, without God then we have begun to realize exactly what Jesus was teaching. This is where transformation happens!

We can learn even more about this passage from Luke 6 when we line it up with Matthew 5. It provides some additional insight and clarity. Whereas Luke 6:20 says “God blesses you who are poor…” Matthew 5:3 says “Blessed are the poor in spirit…” So let’s just jump right in…

Blessed are the poor in spirit, the spiritually bankrupt. Blessed is the person who realizes that he has nothing that he can give to God as a barter for His favor. Blessed are those who know it is not through works that we will find justification because we have nothing To offer God. Blessed are the ones who say, “I can’t figure this out on my own.” They have issues that haunt them and they know they can’t fix themselves. They have been trying and they just can’t get there on their own. Blessed are the poor in spirit.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. Blessed are those who are hungry for forgiveness, who are hungry for intimacy with God. Blessed are those who are hungry for reconciliation, who are hungry for wholeness. Blessed are the hungry for they will be filled with God.

Blessed are you who weep. Blessed are you who mourn. Mourn the fact that we are bankrupt and starving. Mourn the fact that we are sinners. Blessed are those whose hearts are overwhelmed at the darkness inside of them. Blessed are those whose hearts are repentant. Worldly sorrow says “I’ve made a mess of my life. I wish I wouldn’t have.” But that doesn’t transform souls – that’s just regret. Repentance that leads to transformation says, “I’ve offended and let down God. I’ll now submit my life to Him.”

Finally, blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you on account of the Son of Man. Blessed are you when you’ve become so transformed that people see Jesus. I would rather be rejected by 99% of the world and have 1% know me and love me! than be loved falsely by 99% and rejected by the 1%. Blessed are those who are reviled and excluded. Leap for joy, you’ve been transformed.

Woe to you who are full. Woe to you who think you have no need. Woe to you who think you have it all figured out. Woe to you who think you don’t need a power greater than you.

Let’s go back to the beginning of this series…into every life a little rain must fall. So what if His blessings do fall like raindrops and what if healing does indeed come through tears? I believe they do. This life doesn’t necessarily look the way we thought it would. Our prayers may have changed us and not the situation. But if in all of this mess this is really where the true blessings lie, would you recognize them?

Blessings…love, mercy, humility, spirituality, compassion, comfort, hope, forgiveness, grace

Into Every Life

Into Every Life – Blessed Are Who?!

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Then Jesus turned to his disciples and said, “God blesses you who are poor, for the Kingdom of God is yours. God blesses you who are hungry now, for you will be satisfied. God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh. What blessings await you when people hate you and exclude you and mock you and curse you as evil because you follow the Son of Man. When that happens, be happy! Yes, leap for joy! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, their ancestors treated the ancient prophets that same way.
“What sorrow awaits you who are rich, for you have your only happiness now. What sorrow waits you who are fat and prosperous now, for a time of awful hunger awaits you. What sorrow awaits you who laugh now, for your laughing will turn to mourning and sorrow. What sorrow awaits you who are praised by the crowds, for their ancestors also praised false prophets. (Luke 6:20-26)

I really want to dig into this deeper and try to pull some of it apart but in the meantime here is Matt Chandler’s “Readers Digest” version of these verses…

“Blessed, deep, full of life are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are those who mourn, for one day they’ll laugh, being set free from what haunts them. Blessed are those who know Jesus in such a way that it’s changed them, so that they’re excluded and reviled and at times hated, not because of their arrogance, but simply because of Jesus. But woe to you who are self-sufficient. Woe to you who are proud of your religious lineage. Woe to you who have figured it all out. Woe to you who have got it all right, for you’ve got the fullness of what you’ll have. And woe to you who are full, full and yet starving. What an empty place to be. And woe to you who laugh while your soul decays. And woe to you who are loved by all, because you haven’t been transformed much. The good news in all of this is Christ and the grace of Christ covers where we failed here. Because if we’re honest, some of us would have to say, ‘Hey listen, I’m not hungry, but I want to be.’ Okay then, that’s where we begin.”

Into Every Life, Uncategorized

Still Moments – A Biting Truth

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So true…how many times this prayer has crossed my lips.

As I read this, two different passages came to mind. There is nothing quite like digging into the Word, God’s Word, to provide comfort, hope, and ultimately forgiveness and love for the many times I find myself falling short.

Maybe you too can identify with Paul’s words…
“I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.” (Romans 7:21-23, 25 NLT)

And may you find hope in Jeremiah’s…
“Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” (Lamentations 3:21-23 NLT)

My take away today…His love and mercies never end…no matter how many times I fail.

Cease Striving…Be still…Know God (Ps 46:10) Sounds peaceful, right? Peace-filled is more accurate. "Still" has little to do with activity and everything to do with state of mind. Welcome to my crazy life!